James 1:26

NIV: If anyone considers himself religious and yet does not keep a tight rein on his tongue, he deceives himself and his religion is worthless.

The Message: Anyone who sets himself up as "religious" by talking a good game is self-deceived. This kind of religion is hot air and only hot air.

This is all about living out what you believe. After all, how can you call yourself a believer, a Christian, if you profess to follow the ways of Christ but your actions and your lifestyle don't match up? IF you are the sort of person who puts on a face to the world, pretends to be oh so devout and faithful and yet as soon as you get home and are behind closed doors, having shut the world out, your family see a completely different person? Someone who is argumentative, self seeking, selfish, is always putting others down, using your tongue to hurt, to punish, to chastise, speaking words of hate and discord, using bad language as a matter of course?

I know this is somewhat of an exaggeration, but to a certain extent, we all put on a front, a pretence, when with others. After all, we don't want them to know how mean and horrible we really are at times, how selfish and pig headed. There are things we have each done that we keep locked away inside so that no one can ever see them. I'm not talking about that here. After all, that type of behaviour is ore of a defence mechanism than anything else, because we all want to be loved, be liked and not hated and derided for the things we have done or said.

I reckon this verse is talking about those who put on a deliberate show of being "holy" and "righteous" and then spend time gossiping, chit chatting (all in brotherly/sisterly love, of course….) about others, pulling to pieces the preacher, the church leadership, friends, colleagues and so on. It is easy to give in to the temptation to share with others the news we have heard (whether it is true or not), or our views on the sermon, snippets of gossip about others. But really, is that what we were given our tongues for? Greg Laurie gave a brilliant acronym when you are about to pass on a really juicy bit of news:

T - is it true?

H - is it helpful?

I - is it inspiring?

N - is it necessary?

K - is it kind?

T.H.I.N.K. If we all took the time to THINK before we spoke, a lot of grief and upset would be avoided. The times when someone says something to you and you really just want to answer them back in kind, to give as good as you get, yet really, all that ever ends up doing is leading to a huge argument. If you thought before you spoke, used softer, kinder words (no matter what the provocation), then maybe the anger, the hurt of the other person would diminish, ease.

My husband suffers from depression and there are times when I will walk into the room and he will say something that is guaranteed to be hurtful, nasty, and yet I have done nothing to warrant this. It is so easy to answer him back in the same tone, to give as good as I get and more. Yet I have found (and believe you me, it has taken a long time for me to discover this!), that when I just take what he has said, ignore the hateful words, the venom at times, and look behind what he is saying, to the reasons for it, I can answer calmly, without anger, without hitting back. I know that when he says something that is really hurtful, something that he would be really upset about if I had said it to him, then most of the time he does not appreciate just what he has said and how it sounded. Of course, there are times when it is not the depression talking, when he is just being plain moody and grumpy, and then it is a case of calling him on that and pointing out just how horrible he is being (without being all superior and holier than thou at the same time, though!).

Our tongues can really wound and hurt people, and being as nice as pie to people at church but being mean and horrible to your family behind closed doors is no way to behave as a Christian. We need to watch what we say, when we say it, who we say it to and the meaning behind the words we are speaking. After all, look at Jesus and how he spoke to the woman caught in adultery, or the woman at the well in Samaria. He did not give them a long lecture about their behaviour, point out all the things they had done wrong and where they could have changed things. Instead he was kind, considerate, he listened to what they had to say and did not cast any blame. Don't you think we should do likewise?

If we all took the time to T.H.I.N.K. before we spoke, maybe there wouldn't be so much hurt in the world.