James 3:18

NLT: And those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness

The Message: You can develop a healthy, robust community that lives right with God and enjoy its results only if you do the hard work of getting along with each other, treating each other with dignity and honour.

It’s often easier to reply to something someone has said with the first thing that comes out of your head. After all, if someone is always running you down, trying to make you feel bad, why not retaliate in kind? And what about family, close friends? How about when they have an off day and let you know in no uncertain terms just how they are feeling? Why shouldn't you give them a piece of your mind? It’s not as if you don't have feelings, don't care, or have problems of your own to worry about. Why do they always have to take it out on you? So why not let fly and tell them exactly what you think?

The reason that we shouldn't do this is right here in James 3:18. Those who are peacemakers will plant seeds of peace and reap a harvest of righteousness.

It's not always easy, biting your tongue to keep yourself from retaliating in kind to unkind, insensitive, hurtful remarks. But that us what we are to do, and doesn't it tell us in Proverbs:

A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. Proverbs 15:1, NLT

If you retaliate in kind, answer back with your own harsh words, criticism, or insults, then the chances are, sparks will fly and there will be a huge argument. Yet if you answer quietly, gently, without anger or malice, then the opposite can happen, and the tension in the atmosphere will dissipate.

It’s not only individuals who benefit from these words of James either. Take a look at some of the disagreements that take place worldwide as nations seek to protect their territories, to develop the weapons that will deter others from attacking them, or perhaps be used to attack others and so expand a nation's borders, or get rid of a much hated neighbouring country.

The difficulty lies in saying the right words that will turn away anger without looking like you are a carpet for all and sundry to walk on. I think the solution to that lies in having a close relationship with God, of being, like David, a man (or woman) after God's own heart. And that means spending time with God. Not just reading your bible, looking at the "thought for the day" in your monthly bible reading booklet, or singing along to the hymns/songs on a Sunday morning. It means really engaging with God, spending time just soaking in his presence, listening for His voice and just being aware all the time of His presence at your side.

The trouble is, though, at least in my case, is that life gets in the way. I sit here at my computer first thing in the morning filled with so many good intentions. Then I just quickly decide to check my emails. Half an hour later, I open up my bible but then realise that I need to just upload those photos that I promised someone a while ago. Then I just check on a couple of blogs before reading my bible, and end up following links to all sorts of different sites to learn more about digital photography, scrapbooking, or whatever. An hour or more from when I sat down, I finally end up reading my bible and start to journal, but then my youngest walks in to see what is going on, or I have to go make breakfast and packed lunches, and before I know it, it is time to get ready for work and the day ahead. Where did the time go? And exactly how much of it was wasted whilst I did other things rather than spend time with God?

The devil is always trying to draw us away from God, to get us to set our sights on the things of this world, rather than the things from God. It takes time and energy to refuse to listen, to get up extra early, to force yourself to spend time with God without all the distractions that are continually around us. But don't you think that the time spend with God is worth it?

Because if we spent more time with God, if we soaked in His presence, listened for His voice all the time, then surely we can only gain? And then giving the gentle answer that turns away wrath, becoming a peacemaker, someone who looks to reconcile rather than rebuff, will become second nature as we naturally do what god would have us do in any given situation, rather than what the devil tries to get us to do.